It's okay to call me Kerri.

The past few months have been nothing shy of a roller coaster.

Sissy 

Sissy is a challenge. She has extreme behaviors and challenges me at every turn. One night she screamed "I hate you bitch" until 2 am and woke up for the day at 5. Her trauma is deep. She is violent. She has little remorse. She is hurt. She is just 4. Her professional team has been a joke. We recently fired them and have brought on a new agency. This past weekend we began overnights. The first overnight was great. She loaded up wonderfully when I picked her up. Driving away from rehab, she said "Kerri, I...." I froze. Sputtered a little laugh. Then cried. Today, before bed we talked about it. It's okay to call me Kerri. Two mommies is a confusing thing. In all reality, she's starting the transition process in her brain. She's separating from me. I just didn't know it would hurt like that. 

Chunk... My newest toddler. Her birthday was Monday and she is now 1. How did I go from a plump little 3 month old to this gracious child. She's doing amazing. Thriving. Peaceful. And stubborn. She's my baby. She will begin transitioning in the next month. 

And my Buggy Boo.... Tears have been flowing all day. DCS made a visit today and let me know that he needs to schedule a visit with the paternal grandparents. They are after her again. So sometime in the next week, she will meet with strangers for 2 hours. They will call themselves nana and tata. I'm handing my child over to strangers after I've worked 14 months at stranger danger and out attachment. They are seeking placement. Everyone keeps saying it will be okay. My friends who work the field know better. They know there is a great chance she will be moved out of my home. The 29th is our severance hearing for dad and from there, we move to a placement hearing and a lot of prayers. 

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we head into the unknown. 

Kerri