First visit

Baby M had her very first visit with mom yesterday. She met with mom from 11-1. I assumed she would get lunch but probably skip the nap. I knew she would be a little more emotional than normal. I called the visit aide and I was told she did very well. She did cry on the way back to the daycare but that was expected. I will take her to the next visit so I can be the judge of how she does after. I called the daycare and they said she was okay, a little emotional but nothing too bad. Bullet dodged! Mission accomplished! It’s going to be okay! So I thought. 

As I walked into the daycare to pick her up after work, I could hear her screaming. I rushed back without even signing the papers to grab her. I had to walk through three rooms before I could reach her. She was in the corner bawling her eyes out. She cried and cried and cried. I held onto until she calmed down. As soon as she was calm I put her in her carseat. The tears and screams started again. She screamed for her juice then snack. She drank an entire sippie cup of juice within a few minutes. She started falling asleep eating her fruit. She slept most of the way home then proceeded to scream the rest of the evening. All through dinner between fisting mashed potatoes in her mouth, all through bath, and all through story time. I rocked her for a while trying to get her to calm down. By 7:30, I decided it was time to just lay her down. Bedtime was rough. We worked on it for about 20 minutes but she finally fell asleep. 

Is this what visit days are going to look like from now on? Do I say something about changing times? I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes but baby M does not deserve to go through this twice a week. She needs lunch and she needs a nap. Why didn’t the visit aide ensure she had lunch? My heart hurts for baby M right now. Baby M came to me with a few inappropriate behaviors going on; hitting, pulling hair, biting, scratching, and something else. They subsided the longer she has been with me but yesterday they were back in full swing. The more I told her no, the louder and fiercer her screaming became. I’m not 100% comfortable sharing with y’all the most concerning behavior but trust that it hurts my heart and has been reported forward. 

I’m praying Friday goes much better. Any tips from other foster parents?