Tomorrow is a new day...

I'm so tired of this saying. I've said it to myself a million times over the past few years. I'm tired of saying and hearing it. 

I need to make changes in our lives. For myself and the girls. I've let the stress and anxiety of being a foster parent in limbo of severance and adoption take my focus away from the girls. I've let dating interfere with being a mom. Even though I don't go out often, it's obvious enough when your 2 year old asks if you're going on a date... I've let my job creep into my home life again. 

I need to refocus my energy. I sat back and looked at my yard today... I haven't even been doing yard work, which is something I have always enjoyed. 

Today, I have started to realize that I can only be so much and do so much. I need to come first. If I don't care for myself, I cannot care for my girls. 

It's very hard for me to sit back and give it to God... I need to have some control of my life but that's what I've done with J. I'm tired of hearing "I miss you" all the time. Well, I'm here... I haven't gone anywhere. We live a half hour away from each other and you would think we live towns apart. I'm tired of putting so much into something I don't think his heart is ready for. I'm going to "set him free" just as soon as I figure out how to do that since I never see him. 

I'm going to take better care of myself. My children. My home. My animals. My friendships. I'm going to work towards my goals. I'm going to set new goals. I'm ready to start fresh and remind myself what life is all about. 

I got this. Because right now will never happen again. 

-K