Dependency review

Today was the day I learned the truth about Chunks case. I wasn't nervous at all. I know she is not a permanent placement. I have felt it in my heart since day one. I was able to meet mom and give her a hug. She's doing amazing. I met the other foster moms, the legal team, and the ICWA rep, and we went inside. 

Moms doing amazing. We are so proud of her. She's still in rehab though. What is life going to look like when she has all the reality of the real world hitting her. Right now, everyone is bending over backwards for her (including me, I recently sent my only stroller to her so Chubk could have something to sit in). She is not doing anything but services. We're all providing food, placement, and a roof over her head. The visits were changed from twice a week to once a week. So now, on Sunday's, chunk is gone for 6 hours between transport and the visit. The judge ordered another visit. This is a lot for a baby... Last Sunday was the first extended visit and Chunk was disregulated. Her schedule and routine were thrown off. She had one bottle in that 6 hours. No breakfast and no lunch, even though I sent it. And no nap. She was so overtired that she wouldn't nap for me. As luck had it, right as I was getting into our bedtime routine, I received a crisis admission for work and had to get a sitter. When I got home at 930 she was wide awake playing. Bedtime for her is 6. I want mom to have visits. Please don't get me wrong. But let's take a look on how it affects the children. 

The facility mom is in allows the children to move in at some point. The discussion has already begun about Chunk moving in. I completely, 100% disagree with this. It's ine thing to prove sobriety in a treatment facility but what happens when you leave?? She has a 15 year use history with multiple failed treatment episodes. I want to see her succeed. I don't think this is setting her up for success. We're pushing her to fail. I've seen it, professionally, many times. But what do I know... 

The other discussion, moving the girls into a home together. Why would we disrupt both girls to move them to gather just to disrupt again to move them with mom... If little man doesn't work out, I'm going to ask to have her sister placed with me. 

My heart hurts... I know she's not a forever placement but it's becoming real that I won't have her forever. What's it going to be like not having a cuddle buddy in the middle of the night for feedings. :/ I'm going to experience my first foster heartbreak. 

-K