Due to me being an emotional mess, I've spent too much money. Cried too much. And contemplated the point to dating. Seriously... What is the point of dating as a single mom. I never see him. It's either me or him that's busy. We talk all the time but I have friends. So what would be easier? Running through the course of a heartbreak (yup, I fell for him [smack forehead now]) and move on or continue to feel frustrated daily because the one guy that actually makes you happy isn't there.
My friends were funny when I was dying. I got a lot of, "J's taking care of you, right?" Uh yeah... Right. Because I want this guy, whom I adore, bringing his babies into my germ infested house to take care of me. I actually had to beg for a friend to take my kid for a few hours. Beg... That's how sick I was.
So still, here I am. An emotional mess. I need to run. I need a really hard run and an ass kicking workout. Wait... I can't breathe if I talk more than ten words at a time, can you imagine me trying to run a few miles.
So I sit here and pout. I'm caught up on missing a week of work. I've actually somehow worked my way ahead. My house is clean. I'm short of breath. Emotional. Want my boyfriend and my kids and a run. Pouting...
I took the girls to the pumpkin patch for the first time. It was my first along with theirs. Such a sweet experience! Comical as well. I decided to wear Chunk while finding two pumpkins with my toddler while I can't breathe. I think my friends just about had a heart attack. During this, I realized, I have never carved a pumpkin. Of course Google and Pinterest will help me, but how silly is that!!? I have never carved a pumpkin.... Which led me to think about holiday traditions. I'm getting ready to start my first holiday as a mom. I'm super excited to begin traditions but I don't know what. So many firsts for my little family.
I'm hoping to hear more on little man tomorrow and than I will share. It will either be good or better.
-K
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