Let’s talk about visits. The night before visits is hard and heartbreaking. There’s no other way to describe it. Baby M wakes up with night terrors. It took about two hours to calm her down in the beginning. Now all I need to do is pick her up and she calms down with my touch and voice. After visits (if mom cooks) she either throws up or has diarrhea. I have brought this up to the team on numerous occasions but no one has done anything. I discussed this with mom at the last Child, Family, Team meeting but she didn’t grasp what I was saying. I took her to the doctor just in case and the doctor said it was pretty evident she was being fed bad food. At a visit last week, mom got in a heated one sided argument with the visit aide in from of baby M. Baby M emotionally reacted the rest of the day and had a fit the next time she was taken to visit and cried throughout the two hour visit. I am pro visits but at times, visits should be suspended. I think we’re getting close to that. I hate that baby M has to go through these things. Nothing I do seem to prevent the nightmares.
Her biting, kicking, pinching, screaming, hitting and all other maladaptive behaviors have decreased to age appropriate issues. She is beginning to throw tantrums which are fun. I love seeing her act like a two year old. I love seeing age appropriate stuff in kiddos. She starts PCR soon, which concerns me. Her mom isn’t stable and were going to do PCR… I know I’m just a therapist over here, but, wait… I’m a therapist and I would not do PCR with a child and mother until the mother shows stability.
Speaking of mom, she is so busy pointing blame on others; she is losing valuable time in order to regain custody of baby M. Court is in about a month. Mom has done nothing but show for most visits. I want to yell at her. I want to scream “FIGHT” but nothing I have said helps to this point. She says she trusts me and is thankful for me. She is allowing me to travel to New York to see my family with baby M this summer. I just want her to try. Either outcome, I want baby M to know her mom tried and fought for her. I don’t want to explain to her that her mom did not make an effort to get her back.
Life has changed so much for me. It is going to continue to change. I was blessed with an opportunity to work one job while earning the same amount I do with working two. The middle of May, I will transition into the role of a hospice social worker. I will be home much more. No more 6 day weeks!!!! I will also be taking a second placement when I settle into my new position. How wonderfully blessed am I??? Friday, I will be doing respite for the first time for a little girl who is 3. I am super excited!! We will be going to the county fair Friday, zoo Saturday, and splash pad Sunday. Life is good. God is good. My heart is full.
Until next time,
K
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