Respite!!!!!

A few weeks ago, I made the decision to open my second bed to another foster child. Not right away, but later this summer. I'm just getting ready to transition into a much better job for me and my little one. I will be able to work one job and much less hours for more than what I make working two jobs. I'm so incredibly blessed this opportunity has come my way.

In talking with my licensing worker, who has encouraged me to taken a second placement from day one, we decided it would be a good idea to do respite. This past weekend, I picked up Little M. Baby M was NOT impressed with me. I had a full weekend planned of adventures. Friday was the fair, Saturday the zoo and park, and Sunday splash pad. On my way to pick up Little M, her current foster mom reported she had a fever earlier in the week and had a sore in her mouth. She included tylenol "just in case she needs it". Famous last words. Something you should know about me is I am insanely fond of the fair. If it looks like it could potentially kill you, I'm all in. I had requested this day off work weeks in advance and was super excited to spend this day with my best friend, her family, baby M, and now little M.

When I picked little M up, her daycare let me know she had Tylenol at 10 and would need it again around 2. My mind started racing a bit. No big deal. For sure another foster mom would NEVER send a foster kid on respite while they are sick?!?! Right? Wrong. We headed to lunch and Little M wouldn't eat. She said her mouth hurt. I looked in her mouth and was horrified. There wasn't one sore, her mouth was covered in sores. Poor little love. She was able to take an ice cream shake okay. Against my better judgement, we headed to the fair. She did amazing until about 3. The rides had just opened and she was falling asleep. PERFECT TIMING! I was stoked to ride some crazy rides!!! I hopped in line with my besties husband and my best friend stood guard over the strollers. She signaled that she was crying. I ran over and she was not only crying but shaking and saying she was cold. It was about 85 plus that day. She shouldn't be cold. I took out the thermometer and sure enough, 103.5. This ended our trip. I parted ways with my bestie and headed back to the pickup with the girls. Head turned to the ground like I had just been scolded. I was sad for me, baby M, and Little M. I got a text from her foster mom "checking in". I let her know she had a high fever and we were headed home.

She then sent me a slew of texts about how sick shes been this whole week with making trips to urgent care and the ER. She said she was getting better though. This would have been nice to know before I accepted placement. She was pretty angry when she suggested she come and pick her up and I agreed. You just dont do that! You dont send your foster child on respite when they are sick. Seriously!!! I snuggled her on the couch until her foster mom got there.  I expected Little M to run up to her. Nothing. Not even a hug or a pat on the head. It was "lets go."

So guess who woke up sick?? Not only me but baby M is now getting sick too. Am I wrong to be mad? Because I am so angry. I am so angry this foster mom did that to little M, so angry she ruined our day, so angry she didn't provided her the comfort she needed, and SO ANGRY baby M is getting sick. This shouldn't have happened. My best friend said, "Don't worry, its what being a mom is all about." No, no hun, its not. Being a mom is staying home with your sick child and not sending them on respite! Being a mom is running to your child and scooping them up and holding them when they are sick or hurt. Being a mom....

So that was my first respite experience. Baby M and I still enjoyed the weekend but we will not get another chance to go to the fair. I had such high expectation for taking her to the fair for the first time. Things just don't always go as planned.

-K-