Bored

Is it silly that I feel lost. That I felt lost and empty all day? Baby M went back to preschool today. I wish I could have kept her with me all day. In all reality, teaching college kids and toddlers just don't mix. My arms ached. My heart ached. It was too quiet. I tried filling the silence with phone calls, music. I tried filling the boredom with grading papers and responding to emails. I just wanted my baby back in my arms.

Class ended early and I rushed to get baby M. I teach on the west side of town and live northwest. Its not too bad of a drive but I couldnt get there soon enough. I scooped my precious little baby M and kissed her all over. She had a great day but looked so tired. She wined and cried the 5 minutes home. Had a fit while I cooked. Shoveled food in her mouth during dinner while nodding off. She was in bed again by 6.

I'm bored.

In other news. I have joined an online support forum on facebook. So far so good. I like the people and I like that there is a number of foster parents that are experienced.  Something challenging for me professionally and personally was posted today.

This is sad. This is a sad heartbreaking post. Who asks this question about a foster child. Have you ever stepped back to reflect and attempt to see through another persons eyes. Take a walk in their shoes? Take a second to think what it must be like to be them? For heavens sake. This poor child was taken from the only family they knew, put in group care for 2 and a half months, then moved again with another set of strangers. And quite possibly lost belongings, missed visits, and changed schools. I'm really trying hard not to judge, but seriously, have some compassion for these children!

K