How does she know???

I recently sat down for lunch with an old friend. For the past 20 plus years, I have attached onto older women I have looked up to as a motherly figure. She was one of them but she didn't truly know who I was. Ive been coming clean with people. You see, for so many years I led the life of an all American young lady. People believed I am whole and pure. They believed I came from a loving and healthy home with a great parent raising me. Dispelling this myth has been hard and I have received some hurtful statements through it but I have been pushing forward. Ive had people tell my story for me and it makes me incredibly angry. I cant say why. Maybe because its my story to tell or because, some people aren't ready to hear it. Telling one friend at a time, who I am and where I come from. My story.

I believe my mother is very mentally ill. She does not believe it and she will never change. One of her diagnosis I think she has is borderline personality disorder. I have been trained in diagnosing when no psychiatrist is involved and this is what I would diagnose her. I will not work with people with Borderline personality D/O. In fact, I will run the other way.

When I sat down with my friend and told my story. She told me hers. She told me more than I was ready to share with her but our stories are the same. How in the world did she peg me??? The difference is, she lived with someone like my mother for many years and dealt with the emotional and psychological trauma that comes along with it. She is a survivor and has been able to move past it.

I am a true believer in things happen for a reason. I haven't spent quality time with this wonderful person in many years until last Saturday. I needed to hear her story and see her survive. I was at the point, I wasn't sure if I was going to ever break away from the psychological damage that has been done. There is hope and I have found it. I need to continue to move forward and continue to change.

-K